Merry Christmas

It's that time of year.

I've not written since getting home and it's weird how quickly I miss it. So here I am again.

Today our church here had the Christmas Eve service. There was a...well...a moment. I can't describe it. But as everyone in the church lit their candles creating a growing glow as we sang "Light of the World" (well, not "we") I suddenly got the shivers. It was...just that. A moment. I simply cannot describe it with words.

Anyways, it is late. And if I don't hurry I'll be going to bed on Christmas morning...and we can't have that, can we?

Physics physics physics

Today I have a physics final. So you get a special treat; my rantings on physics! Basically I'm going to write about as much as I can without looking up formulas and whatnot. So let's go.

First, Newton's three laws.

1. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by some outside force. Likewise, an object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by some outside force. Simple enough to understand.

2. F = ma. Force equals mass times acceleration. If I apply a constant force of ten newtons to a small item weighing five newtons then it accelerates at two meters per second squared. (basically two meters per second per second). Also not complicated at all.

3. For any action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Not quite so intuitive as the others. But trust me the forces do always balance. Force (One on Two) = -Force (Two on One)

Okay moving on, now that those are established. Any object resting on a surface has two forces acting on it. But, isn't it at rest? (Look at law 1). Yes. There is a downwards force of gravity which is mass times acceleration due to gravity and a contact force with the surface which, surprise surprise, is equal and opposite to the force of gravity. So the sum of the forces is zero. Now, friction. The force of friction always opposes motion, no matter which way it goes. The force is equal to (mu)n. What the heck is this? (mu) is a greek letter. It represents the coefficient of friction, static or kinetic (it's not hard to figure out what those mean...they are indeed as obvious as they seem). This value will vary between surfaces. The smaller it is the smaller the force of friction (obviously). The other bit, n, is the normal force. This is that contact force I was blabbing about a moment ago. So F = (mu)n for friction. Good. Quick quick quick time's running out. Lot more to cover here. Circular motion. An object in circular motion, even uniform circular motion (it means what you think it means), is always accelerating. Even if the speed never changes. Why? Because acceleration is defined as dv/dt, or change in velocity over time, for those of you who don't know calculus....yet (and why don't you, anyways?). Velocity is not just speed, as much of the world thinks. Velocity includes direction. Twenty km/h is a speed. Twenty km/h north is a velocity. So if your direction changes you are said to accelerate, even if you never speed up or slow down. So moving in a circle means there is a constant acceleration pointing straight at the centre of the circle. Think of the last time you spun something on a string. There you go. The string is like the vector of acceleration, called radial or centripetal acceleration. This is equal to velocity squared over the radius. And then if it's not uniform circular motion you have tangential acceleration which, again, is exactly what it sounds like. Acceleration perpendicular to the radius. On to energy. There are two forms of energy covered in this course; kinetic and potential. Kinetic, given by ½ mv^2, is for an object in motion. Potential, mgh, is the amount of kinetic energy the object could potentially have. Hold a book 2 meters above the floor (if you can reach). Assume the book weighs about 5 kilos the potential energy is 5 kg x 9.81 m/s^2 x 2 m. This is equal to 98.1 Joules. If you drop it, it will quickly accelerate downwards. Energy is conserved in the absence of non-conservative forces so the kinetic energy of the book an instant before hitting the ground with a bang and subsequently getting your mother to ask what the heck you think you're doing will be equal to 98.1 Joules. Because we all know algebra it's not hard to see that ½ mv^2 = mgh, so cancel the ms, multiply by two and take the root of both sides and you see that v = sqrt(2gh) which is sqrt(40). So that's how fast the book was falling just before hitting the ground.

Sadly time is already up. I didn't get to go into momentum, collisions, rotational dynamics, rocket propulsion, Kepler's laws, waves, sound, or any of that good stuff. But anyways. Hopefully you feel a little smarter.

And never forget the difference between speed and velocity.

Metro Minute: Solar Powered

Something I've discovered of late is how much we, or rather, I and thus extrapolated with somewhat erroneous logic to the rest of the world, need the sun. Not because of the obvious reasons; to see, to grow our food, and so on. I personally find that I need some kind of connection with it during the day or else I feel absolutely disgusting. It doesn't even need to be sunny outside; so long as I see some natural light.

Why does this come up? Well, for anyone living in the northern hemisphere it's started getting dark very early. A little earlier for me than most readers as I'm further north but not a huge difference. That's not even important here so I don't know why I mentioned it, or indeed why I'm even saying that I don't know why I mentioned it. Moving on. Recently for me with finals I've been spending a lot, and I mean a lot, of time in the library. More than I would have expected myself to spend. The thing is, as it's dark by 16h or so, work is done entirely by artificial lighting for most of the day. And this is painful.

Whenever I go to study I try to get a desk by the window so I can at least have some kind of link with what's happening outside. One thing that really bothered me was working in the labs for chemistry and physics, although physics was the worse of the two; both labs were in the basement, the chem lab having a few small windows for air circulation but those hardly let light in. The physics lab was completely windowless and deep underground. Why was this a problem? Well, I would go into the lab for 14:30 and emerge three hours later. It would have been nice and sunny when I went in but coming out it's pitch black. All the while my body was in a bright environment. While I didn't necessarily feel physically ill as we know that word to mean I had this general feeling of unwellness growing during the lab. Same goes for the library and this is why I try to get a desk by the window. Having that view outside with the ability to the natural light lele helps me keep a good grasp on what is actually going on in the world of orbital motion.

I'm just going to theorize here so feel free to completely disagree. And tell me so. My comment heading commands you. This is my theory (as unofficially stated as it is). We, as humans, all have an internal clock of some sort, agreed? It wakes us up in the morning (unless we have an alarm clock), it allows us to have a general idea of the progress of the day, and it tells us what to expect for natural light. This last part is the important bit. I may have phrased it wrongly but I'll discuss it and we'll see.

When you're in an environment where you are going inside and outside or at least from windowless to windowed rooms, you can keep track of time relatively easily by looking outside. This act “resets” your internal clock to keep it accurate. As you go back into an area wit h no connection to the great outdoors your clock will keep general track of time, but it loses itself very quickly. We have all read at some point in our lives stories of wretched prisoners cast into dark dungeons for so long that they cannot track the passage of time. Our internal clock has a pretty high entropy. It winds down quickly. So while yes, it is predicting the light levels outside, it's often wrong if you've been inside for an extended period of time.

Back to the lab example. I leave the outdoors, a bright environment, and go into an underground, bight environment. I start my work, get absorbed in it, and stop paying great attention to time. When my mind did not have this work to occupy itself with, it suddenly perks up and says, “Good grief how long have we been here? The light hasn't changed at all! Has time even passed?” When I step outside and see how much time has indeed passed things are revealed to be screwy and feel unwell. Even though I may know three hours have passed it's not until I see it that the full impact hits.

Anyways, there's my theory. I'm out of time for this. Back to studying...

Metro Minute: Winds of Change

Change. Yes, change. That thing everyone is scared of and yet demands. That thing that is never noticed when it's happening but seems dramatic and obvious in retrospect. That thing homeless people ask for. Okay maybe not that last one. I'm talking about change as in lifestyle. Heck , just life.

Coming to university I was nervous. I was scared. A little. For starters I was going to be living in a city that is about eighty times the size of my home country. Chew on that for a moment. Then, of course, I was moving from being homeschooled to attending a high end university. Also, I'm leaving my family behind and now living with my grandmother and cousin. Hardly the full house I'm used to. In addition, everyone was telling me to savor my last few weeks at home because when I came back for the holidays it would never be the same as before. This all had me worried. My life was about to change. A lot.

But then it didn't. Or at least, I didn't think it did. My family stayed in Montreal for about a week into my semester. Initially I found that annoying and irritating but in retrospect it was a very helpful way to transfer over into university. As the student services happened to be striking for most of the semester there were a few unexpected kinks and wrinkles that needed sorting out and it was helpful to have my parents a phone call away or closer at all times during the first week. They then left and I figured that the expected “culture shock” that I had been anticipating with excitement and dread for a while was about to happen.

For starters, it's kinda weird to “expect” a shock of sorts. I mean, the whole thing with a shock is that it's unexpected, right? Well, for me it just didn't happen. Montreal is my birthplace and home away from home already. It's a familiar place. Granted I was seeing a whole other side of it being in university and all but it was still familiar. Homely. Comfortable. A few weeks passed and I was finding my rhythm with school, church, and becoming more and more familiar with everything. Suddenly I realized that I hadn't had any transition really. I never felt like I was in a strange environment. I had to remind myself at times, “Nathaniel...you're in university now. The next step in life! You're gone from home! This is big! You should be kinda shocked right now.” But no. I kept gliding through as if nothing had changed.

Another thing was my connection back home. Thanks to the magic that is technology I have been still able to maintain a near constant link back home. At times this is annoying and I'd like to be left alone but at least it's easier to ignore a blinking phone than it is an actually person speaking in front of me. However, it's still helpful to maintain a lot of the comfort of “home”. This all said I was warned that “home” would never be the same. It would never look the same again. It would still be nice to return there but it would, from then on, be merely a temporary stay. I no longer “live” there. I'm welcome to long visits but am no longer a proper resident. But, as somewhat worrisome as this may be I've again not really noticed any real, tangible change.

Finally, there are my siblings. Due to the constant connection I had with them in living under the same roof as them I knew I'd be happy to get away and believe me I certainly was. Again, ignoring skype is much, much easier than a persistent little sister (even though she's still persistent on skype...”away” means “away”. It does not mean “call me I'm dying to hear from you”). However, with the older two, Jordan and Abigail, the relationship between us has changed. Again, not in any really noticeable form over time but looking back holy cow is it ever different. Not having to interact with each other every single day means our communications are purely voluntary and we both want to be in conversation together. If you want to do something, you're automatically going to enjoy it more. It's an amazing thing. I've always wondered how it will work as we all grow up and spread out across the planet. My aunts and uncles on my father's side all, with the exception of one, reside in Bermuda, meaning they're all very close. Will it be the same with me and my own siblings? I now have seen a small glimpse into what it will be like.

Life is completely different now. I didn't want things to be different. I liked my life at home. I was able to subsist on a wonderful diet of math, music, computers, and photography. I loved it. It was comfortable. Familiar. Life was good. But now it has all changed. Again, I didn't want it to change, but oh my. Is it ever wonderful here on the other side. The weirdest thing is though; I knew it would change, I expected it to change, I have seen that it has changed, but, I never saw it change. I did not notice a thing. My piano teacher drew a good analogy; it's like getting taller. Suddenly you realize you can see the top of a table. That's a big milestone. But you probably didn't notice the progress being made to that point. So now here I am, seeing the top of the table for the first time. I'm noticing the drastic difference from before when I couldn't see it. But I didn't notice a thing meanwhile. And that, I think, is a great way to change.

Metro Minute: Now You're Thinking with Pressure

I'm riding the metro into school for my last day of review before my first exam. This exam carries 75% of my grade for the course. Not exactly a small amount. The pressure is certainly mounting. Which is what I'm going to yak about for the next twenty minutes or so.

What is pressure? Not the physical pressure, no, that I understand just fine. But what is it that makes field goal kickers crack, performers slip, and stress on students? Again, not physical pressure, although that could explain each of those things but the emotional pressure. Mental pressure.

If we're honest with ourselves we all know we want others to at least respect us (however little our behavior indicates that...yes, Rose...). We like being able to do things and do those things well. It is part of the reason we don't immediately volunteer what information we have about a subject because we don't think said information is effective enough or complete. Ask an open question in a classroom of students and, while hopefully at least most of them know the answer hardly anyone will say anything. Partly because they're not comfortable speaking for everyone to hear but also because there's that little voice in one's mind saying, “What if you're wrong? What then?”

So this comes back to pressure. It is appropriately named because it really is a result of people heaping expectations upon you. Those all weigh down on your mind. You know that these people will think of well of you if you meet those expectations and won't if you don't. This is why I rambled a bit a moment ago. Whenever a certain level of performance or quality of work is expected there is pressure to meet that level. Particularly if that level is just about the highest you personally can possibly reach.

Take, for example, frisbee. I love to play and I'm not trying to brag when I say I'm a pretty good player. When I left Bermuda for university a lot of people were disappointed to see me go as I would no longer be there for the weekly games. Now that I'm going back for Christmas all those people are eagerly awaiting my return and will obviously expect me to play at the same high level I did all of last year (academic year, that is). However, I haven't actually thrown a frisbee for almost two months. That's a long time to go without throwing a frisbee. There's bound to be some level of rust and I'm not going to meet those expectations right away. Add to this that I know that and they don't and there's a lot of pressure build up. Which makes the whole situation worse.

But anyways. All that to say I'm under a lot of pressure for these finals. A lot of people expect a lot. The good news is that I know I'm capable of meeting those expectations. The bad news is I'm not sure if I will....hence, pressure.

Metro Minute: Where I'm Supposed to Be

I know, it's been a while since I've written anything here. However, my travel schedule has been completely changed recently as I am now entering the university equivalent of the Twilight Zone. The lines between studying and sleep will become increasingly blurred and I'll wake up suddenly as if out of a dream on the 21^st and realize I'm on an airplane home. This all said,I really have nothing planned to write here but just really wanted to write. I don't know why as I don't know what.

One thing that's become increasingly clear is that I am definitely in the right place. Often when students go off to university the last thing you expect them to do is to instantly grow in their walk with Christ. They don't necessarily need to get worse, no, but to grow? Seems a bit odd for their first year (unless of course they are in a Christian university, but even then). And yet, that's exactly what has happened here.

From day one my parents made absolutely sure I was placed in a church with people my age that I could identify with. This has been extremely useful. Normally when we come here we go to my grandmother's church which is a quiet, sleepy sort of place with an average age well over sixty. I certainly did not relish the thought of going there. However, my parents have roots here in a church closer to downtown which, while not void of elderly (and honestly a church would feel very weird without them; but this isn't the point look at the next phrase), has a vibrant and diverse youth group. On an average night there will be forty young people. Being around all these young Christians all going through the same things I am (school, finals, the transition from childhood to adulthood, etc.) has been invaluable. While I haven't gotten extremely “close” with anyone of the group yet I've still been inspired and encouraged by them in a major way.

But that is not all. I also, at the recommendation of my youth leader back home, got involved with Campus for Christ (which will soon be renamed Power to Change). This has been huge. A university campus is a big place. There are a lot of people; over 20,000 undergraduate students attend McGill. For someone like me who isn't exactly a social butterfly (understatement of the year I know) it can become a little overwhelming; all these people and you don't know a single one of them. As much as I hate to admit it I am still human and humans do need some level of acceptance by others. Well, “need” but that's a whole other topic. We all would get lonely without others by varying degrees. The point is, having a Christian circle of friends that you meet with once a week and often bump into on campus because of similar walking directions and paths has also been quite encouraging.

In addition, you will recall (okay maybe you won't, I don't know) that a few posts back I was talking about how I had, in the space of just three months, done something I had said I wouldn't do; that is, go “sharing” in the cafe. I have now done that twice and have lead one of the discussions as opposed to being “wingman”. If you told me back in September that I would have done that by now I, quite honestly, would have laughed in your face (I do that a lot regardless but that's still not the point). Also, I now eagerly look forward to my next opportunity to play the piano for worship at church, whereas a few months ago I was reluctantly taking my brother's place on the keys as he was needed elsewhere on the island for three weeks.

I still have a long way to go, however. I still struggle with various things. I still have unanswered questions. Heck, I'm still not completely certain I'm doing the right thing academically speaking. But I know that I'm getting closer and that I'm supposed to be here in McGill. That's a good starting point, don't you think?

Human Error

Here's something I've often pondered: why are things hard to do? I mean really. Why do we as musician miss notes even after hours and hours of practice? How are mathematical concepts hard to learn? Why does it take such talent and training to play a sport professionally? Why is it so difficult to come up with a decent thought to write about?

And these aren't just rhetorical questions, either. Over the next twenty minutes (and probably some more while drinking coffee in the classroom half an hour before class) I'm going to try to work out some “answers” but that opening interrogative paragraph is honestly just as much to spark “discussion” (as much discussion one can have with three readers) as it is to set up the rest of this entry.

Let's take the first example to start. A lot of us have taken music at one point or another in our lives (speaking outside of said three readers here). We all know how it goes. You practice and practice and practice and then you go up on stage and miss notes left and right. How? If you already know what notes to play, then where does this disconnect come in between your brain and your hands? In fact, it's often almost assumed that a musician can learn the notes to a piece quickly enough and all that's left is the interpretation of those notes (which is a whole lot let me tell you). Basically, a purely mechanical function shouldn't be difficult to someone properly trained.

Obviously with a beginner you would not start them with one of Rachmaninoff's piano concertos, pieces which are often considered the hardest piano pieces in the world (I've seen the music and I agree). Not because the difficulty merely comes down to a mental disconnect but because they have not learned the technique. With the technical side of piano playing there are certain manoeuvres that are not immediately obvious or intuitive and yet do work well. Case in point: my piano teacher showed me two days ago that crossing over the top of my hand in a given scenario was actually the best way to go about playing it. Did those notes instantly sound better? Yes. Was what I was doing before wrong? No. This goes back to there being no “wrong” in music (except for wrong notes but that's not the point....wait...yes it is).

Going back to the original topic, however, in my little rambly bit just now I was in fact trying to make a coherent point but wound up only confusing the matter further. If we say that it comes down to a lack of knowledge for the most part (which was the point I was trying to make) then how do we miss notes even when we do have great knowledge of the piece? Obviously this is not as much the case as when we first look at a piece but the point still stands.

What about math, now? Math is basically logic in its purest form. We've also all been there too; suddenly you realize you had no idea what was going on as of two weeks ago. Again, why? Why is it that a simple form of logic can be elusive to our minds? First there is the obvious point that math builds on itself. If I tried to teach you logarithmic differentiation without first teaching differentiation on its own we would be wasting our time. But differentiation just uses algebraic concepts. Therefore if one has already had the building block of algebra placed, differentiation should be easy enough to master. And yet at the same time, I doubt I could manage to get my brother to absorb that information and know how to use it.

Well, that's all the time I have here. I may continue this. I may.